Is This the Laptop Line?

I have little patience for stupidity. Actually, that's an understatement. I think stupidity should be punishable by public flogging. I constantly find myself wondering how 98% of the population has made it this far. Similarly, and ironically, I find that the highest concentrations of absolute dolts seem to reside on college campuses.

(Here is some pertinent background information in which I'm positive no one is interested: For my current job, I spend hours upon hours in the library's dungeon reading and transcribing reels of microfilm tax logs that are pushing the ripe old age of 150. To facilitate this, I require but a few, wee simple contraptions:

1) REALLY ancient microfilm scanner that is about as stable as a PMSing woman who has just had both her chocolate and Midol stolen; and
2) A laptop.

Once I've procured my film from our dear MSU history department (LOVE THEM!), I trot across the way to resume my post as subterranean library troll. Usually, this is the highlight of my day. I actually look forward to work because the only people I have to listen to are the members of The Dead as they resonate through my headphones. However, today was not going to be one of those days.)

I arrived at the library only to find that the laptop checkout line was stretching halfway through the lobby. Stupendous. I get on line, and proceed to wait patiently while trendy-tortured-huffy-artist-girl-with-giant portfolio holder brushes past everyone to demand that she go first because she wanted a Mac, not a PC (She would!). I continue to wait, stare at the backs of my counterparts, and calculate the number of minutes in line that I will never get back in life. I listen halfheartedly as tall-chunky-creeper with a beard proceeds to hit on each member of the laptop staff. And then I feel someone tap me on the shoulder: "Is This the Laptop Line?"

It's not that there were a bunch of students waiting under a sign clearly marked "LAPTOP." It's not even the fact that each student in the line that was previously without a laptop walked away proudly carrying the same. In fact, I'm not sure what it is. Regardless, in my mind, there she went. To the stocks. Without a laptop.