One. Two. Three. Fourteen.

After many years of unsuccessful attempts to procure U2 tickets, I finally saw them this week through the aid of one very generous gift from one very awesome boyfriend and his very awesome family (and this, friends, is why it rocks to be a Jew on Christmas.) The show was amazing. The set was amazing. The band…was amazing.*

But Bono is an asshat.

And here’s why:

There was a time when Bono had long greasy hair and wore a lot of flannel. Of course, in the 90s, a lot of guys had long greasy hair. And wore a lot of flannel. And back then, most of these guys didn’t really pretend to care about social consciousness or rock with a conscience or any other silly terms annoying people with pamphlets and clipboards like to toss around as they terrorize you in event parking lots. And life was good.

But somewhere down the line, Bono cut his hair, lost his flannel, donned a pair of dark shades, and decided that he was the saviour reborn, strategically sent from above as a gift to all mankind.

And here’s the kicker: I’m so not even remotely exaggerating.

The concert was peppered with references to places and people that I’m wholly confident at least 99.7% of those in attendance had never heard of in what I guess was an attempt to encourage us all to live as one and smile on our brothers and weave rainbows into blankets for orphans. Or as fodder for Bono’s daily spank session in the mirror. Because I am SURE this man wanks it to his own image.

Anyway, this particular concert focused on freeing Burma. Even though I thought Bono’s main campaign was helping African AIDS babies. Or endangered rhinos. Or the fund to buy himself another pair of designer shades. Any one of these crusades is fine if you’re staffing the awareness tent at Mountain Jam or picketing a whaling vessel or wanking it in Bono’s magic mirror. But at a stadium concert? That’s so un-rockstar. And so unnecessary. Especially in a venue where parking is $25.00 per car with base tickets topping over $100.00 a piece.




*Disclaimer: I love U2. I think they are an incredible band. This is by far one of the most rocking concerts I’ve ever attended. I just hate Bono because he’s a self-obsessed tool that pretends to care about the world while he goes home to a mansion and probably swims in vats of his millions while his Burmese slave polishes his line of designer blackout shades.